Beberapa waktu belakangan ini emang lagi nyebelin-nyebelinnya. Tepatnya sekitar 2 minggu ke belakang. Bumbu dramanya agak lebih banyak di kurun waktu itu haha. 

Pertama, jelas masih urusan skripsi. Bikin bab 1 sama bab 2 ga kelar-kelar sisss :). Ditambah data yang paling gw butuhin justru ga ada di tempat penelitian gw, jadi kalau emang butuh banget 10x data tersebut, gw mesti riset dan olah sendiri. More time and energy needed, ya? Walaupun gw agak gabut di tempat magang, tetep aja dong gw ga bisa keseringan izin ga masuknya. So ya what a task between my tight internship days...

Kedua, tablet gw hilang hehehe. Masih misteri apakah bener dicopet waktu gw naik metromini menuju Stasiun Duren Kalibata atau hilang di kantor, tapi rasio keraguannya 95-5%. Iya, emang kemungkinan besar diambil sama orang di M62 yang lagi butuh uang. Setelah bertahun-tahun fungsi handphone gw digantikan oleh tablet tsb, akhirnya gw pisah juga deh sama dia. Sedih deh soalnya banyak banget foto-foto dan capturan berbagai hal di situ.

Then, a week later... dompet gw pun ada yang ambil juga. Kejadiannya di kereta. Tumben banget hari itu gw mau naik di gerbong 2, gerbong campuran, padahal biasanya no way. Waktu itu keretanya emang lagi padet banget. Gw juga lagi ga sabaran pengen cepet sampe rumah, niatnya mau kerjain bab 2, jadilah maksa di kereta penuh itu walaupun ada kereta lain yang lebih lowong. I swear it was such an unpleasant time. Udah capek, penuh, dan aroma udaranya "ruar" biasa, maaf asemnyaaaaaaa udah kayak cuka apel. Fortunately, gw pake masker, itu pun maskernya gw masukin juntaian kerudung gw juga, biar udara yang gw hirup terfilter berkali-kali. Balik lagi sama dompet, gw ga ngerti kejadiannya gimana, sadarnya pas baru banget turun di Stasiun Bekasi. HUHUHUHUHUHU ktp, sim, kartu atm, kartu-kartu dokter, kartu segala macem member raib semua. I really wish the person throw my purse somewhere near station.:(

Terus barusan, gw menemukan gambar ini

Cr to Google Image
My heart hurts reading that hadits. So i am being missed. I realize that i become lazier these past days or weeks or months to keep up with my Creator.

Hilangnya 2 benda penting ini dan kondisi finansial orang tua belum memungkinkan untuk beli yang baru, ditambah stress dari skripsi yang deadlinenya sebentar lagi bikin gw kesel melulu kalau lagi ada di rumah, kayak meratapi nasib but then REALLY ANIS?? Cuma gitu doang sampe kadang kalau otak gw lagi ga waras, gw ngerasa gw adalah manusia agak kurang beruntung. Astaghfirullah. I have been kufur nikmat this whole time. Emang ya manusia tukang lupa.


Btw, today is my little sister's 16th birthday. Happy Birthday, Denyo! xoxo.


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I always wanted to be a doctor until the last days on my first year of high school. It was never anything else, but a doctor. Put aside the prestige some people see in this profession. It was never be a reason why i wanted to be one. I am a soft-hearted person and easily sympathetic, so the younger version of me wanted to help people. Cliche but safe to say it is blame-free. I wanted to be a pediatric or dermatologist simply because i like toddler (not children) and planned to establish a beauty clinic. Not so noble as reasons, aren't they? Hahahahahaha. 
*FYI i even ever wanted to be the UN General Secretary so i can help people. HAHAHA.

As time goes bye, that pretty strong will disappeared just like that. I came to realization that my soft-hearted personality cannot see someone in real pain, ga tegaan gitu pokoknya anaknya. Also, it is hard to see wounds, they are scary and disgusting looking. Ridiculous but strong reason, ya? Though when i think about it now, let's say if i were a so-so pediatric, isn't it not so often i get the chance to see disgusting looking wound or seeing someone in real pain as in emergency pain as a surgeon or a trauma surgeon does? However, i chose not to be a doctor anyway. Since then, i kinda slowed down my study pace as i gave up already on medical school. Well, i can't put the not-to-be-doctor reason was the only reason i slowed it down, i just become lazier in academic thingy at that time. It was probably because of puberty :c [crush, dating, and boyfriend stuff-ugh] *cry in shame*



Not so long ago i feel like i still want to be a doctor. I realize after watching Grey's Anatomy. Does it feel good to save people? Those actors on that serial deliver the doctor-emotion so well that i crave to feel suchan emotion. "It is a good day to save lives" is quoted from McDreamy, the sooo handsome neuro-surgeon. I am now nowhere close to be a doctor and i can't help much when someone in pain. Only little theoretical knowledge and zero practical knowledge for any emergency situation. Though i am never hoping to be in such situation.

I don't regret what i am into right now at all. I am just slightly wondering why i gave up on my longtime aim easily and be so fast in deciding. Maybe this is something called takdir. When Allah wills then all can happen THAT easy.

Off topic, i was so devastated when knowing Derek Shepherd died in season 11. I didn't feel like watching season 12. But then the gossip says the reason behind Shonda Rhimes put that one important character off is because Patcrick had an affair with an insider staff. The situations did not go well between him and other artists, specially his co-star, Ellen Pompeo who happens to be his wife's closefriend, so she made Derek Shepherd died for an accident. Finding out the reason, i became more relieved because i hate cheater. See how someone's past can affect their present haha. So, i will keep up with season 12.


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